How to Love Yourself as a Mom
It is true, it is hard to love others when in fact you do not love yourself. So loving yourself is key to becoming the mom you have always wanted to be. If you are in a quest to find love and can’t seem to figure out where you are going wrong, use these tips below to help you find self-love as a mom and learn how to take steps in the right personal development directions.
How do you learn to love yourself?
According to Psychology Today, self-love is so important.
Let’s face it, being a mom is a tough job. It is rewarding, but downright hard at times. Yet, finding ways to love yourself as a mom will help you make this “mama” thing much easier.
First, loving yourself may pose a problem if you are dealing with other factors such as depression and anxiety. For these personal issues, it is best to seek the help of a counselor.
Yet, if you are finding yourself with feelings of self-detriment after becoming a mom, it is best to find ways to heal and find love again.
If you have lived with these feelings for a while, it is time to take action and learn why you are pushing others away, even if you do not realize it.
How to Love Yourself as a mom step-by-step
This post will outline ten ways to help you grow in self-love as a mom. You can use it as a guide to help start loving yourself and taking care of yourself again.
After becoming a mom, we often put ourselves last. However, when mama’s cup is full (and I LOVE my coffee) then everyone else is happier too.
10 Tips to Heal and Love Yourself again
#1 Find the Cause of your issues
This may be difficult. You may have had an attitude of unloving feelings for yourself for many years, yet if you look deep within you may be able to pinpoint your source of feeling inadequate and start to heal. Trust me, healing yourself will be the best thing for you and your family.
Did you experience any of the following?
- -childhood trauma
- -loss of a loved one
- – target of bullying
- -feelings of abandonment
If so, this could be the root of your desire to feel bad about yourself. You may be harboring feelings you pushed way down and do not even realize they are they. That, mama, breeds resentment.
#2 Forgiveness
After finding the source of your pain, it is essential to find forgiveness. If you can forgive others for the pain they have caused you, you can find it in your heart to find forgiveness for yourself too.
Let me remind you that forgiveness is more for yourself than it is for others. If you are carrying around hatred and anger, you will find love for yourself and others very difficult.
Forgiving may be the hardest part of this process, especially if you have gone through terrible circumstances. Try thinking of what your tormentors have gone through in their lives. For example, if you had an abusive parent, think about how they must have been abused as a child as well.
#3 Self-help books
If you don’t have money or time for counseling there is a wealth of self-health books available and the best part is you can get them for free at your local library.
Of course, I am biased and I love this book (by myself) but other books I have read personally and have found great value and enjoyment in are as follows
- Power of habit
- Energy bus
- People skills
- Happiness project
- You are a badass
- Self-matters
These are just a few, but I have been reading self-help books for the majority of my life and they are actually my favorite books to read because each one has taught me something and helped me grow as a person. There are literally thousands of self-help books out there so find something that speaks to you and try to read at least 20 pages per day.
#4 Develop healthy habits
Did you know that the mind and body are connected? In fact, your brain releases a chemical called serotonin when you feel good. One way to increase serotonin levels is to exercise. It really doesn’t have to be anything rigorous either. You could go for a ten-minute walk every day and still increase your mood. Give it a try! What have you got to lose?
#5 Positive affirmations
One of my favorite affirmations is “This too shall pass.” It has helped me get through grief, disappointment, and anxiety throughout the years. If you find something that works for you, write it down and say it a few times every morning. If you are feeling overwhelmed, use mine! Try to keep a positive attitude and your self-love will shine bright!
#6 Treat Yourself
You deserve something too. You are worthy of what you want in life. So go ahead and treat yourself.
Is there something expensive you want? Save up for it. Is there a small treat that can make you smile? Then go for it.
Mine is definatley coffee and I usually make my own at home, but every once in a while I treat myself to a Starbucks because I love their coffee and you know what? I deserve it!
#7 Positive People
Now that you are finally feeling better about yourself, find some positive friends. You are who you surround yourself with and if you hang around complainers, most likely you will start complaining. However, if you hang around people with a grateful heart, you will have a grateful heart.
Find people that are your ideal image of who you want to be and make a coffee date or ask them over for pizza. It is important to find friends with similar interests, just make sure those are healthy interest instead of self-destructive.
#8 Alone time
Although being social is researched to help you live longer and feel happier, it is also important to spend some time alone. You can choose to read your self-help books or learn to meditate or do yoga. Find something positive you can do by yourself and set aside 20 minutes per day to just be with you.
Learn how to meditate. Learning how to calm the mind, helps calm the body. This isn’t always easy when you have little ones, but try naptime or grab a few minutes to yourself, when your partner or help is around.
#9 Self-care
Related Self-Care Post:
- Five Types of Self-Care for Moms
- Top 10 Self-Care Ideas for Moms
- Top 3 Essential Self-Care Ideas for Moms
It is important to take care of the number one person in your life, you – mama!. Find little things that bring you joy and set aside time to relax and take care of yourself. Try taking a warm bubble bath and lighting candles. Give yourself a spa treatment. Get your hair or nails done. Treat yourself to something that will make you feel good about yourself!
Self-care ideas:
- warm bath
- candles
- 10 minutes of reading
- find a hobby you love
- calming music
- motivational books on C.D.
#10 It’s all about perspective
Learn to look at things differently in your life. Sure you may have had some poor circumstances, but are you going to let this define you and your family? Everything that has happened in your life has to lead you up to this point, good or bad. Can you take some of those negatives and turn them into positives.
For example, maybe you were verbally abused as a child. You can now use that as a reason to never treat your own child that way.
Maybe you failed miserably at something and feel defeated. Can you use that as your biggest lesson as to what not to do next time and get back up on your feet and try again?
Learn to look at things through a positive lens and you will find you like yourself more and more.
Learning perspective and being grateful is life-changing.
Learn to Love Yourself Final Thoughts…
At the beginning of this post, you may have felt hopeless, but hopefully, now that is not the case. Take what you learned and take baby steps. Start small and try one of my tips each week. For the next ten weeks, really work on yourself and learn to be a happier, better you. Love yourself, so you can love others. Take care of yourself first and your love and positive vibes will show through to your family.
Take care, mama!
Related:
How to Love Yourself as a Mom
